THREE DAYS!

Counting down to my back procedure and Steve Hofstetter

Three Days | Steve Hofstetter | Mother’s Day | Stress

THREE DAYS

Stress drawing myself as Zoe from my books

I am nervous. I am trying not to overthink myself into a tizzy with thoughts like,

“What if this doesn’t work?”

“What if I hurt worse?”

“What if it does work?”

Isn’t that weird? I have been in such pain—between the fibro, my back, the issues with my uterus—for so long (over a decade) that the idea of not being in pain scares the ever-loving-shit out of me. I mean, fibro is forever, but my uterus comes out in June (hopefully, if they iron out insurance shit).

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Steve Hofstetter

On Thursday night, we’re going to see Steve Hofstetter. If you don’t know who he is, check out this video:

We’ve been trying to see him for years. The last time the event was cancelled for unknown reasons, so it’s great that we’re finally able to see him live.

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Mother’s Day

One of my reminders

If you’ve followed me for any length of time, you know I have a love/hate relationship with Mother’s Day. This year I’m not even interested. I’m done with things that feel obligatory. And since I’m giving myself permission to ignore people who have never made me a priority in their lives, I extend that permission to you, as well.

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Stressed the Fuck Out

Yeah.

You ever feel like you have to hold your shit together, because if you do, if you relax, you’ll split at the seams and your world will dissolve around you? Like, not just crack. No, the whole fucking world will implode and explode at the same time, and there won’t be any shards to pick up and repair?

No? Just me?

I’m not sleeping well. I’m not eating well. I’m trying to focus and be functional, but nope, I am a raging, tight ball of chaos and fire.

I don’t want to get into the details, because most of them are outside my realm of control. Also, because if I start talking about it, I don’t think I’ll be able to cram it all back into my skull, if that makes sense. And when they’re out, they feed the brain gremlins.

So, here I sit.

Thanks for listening.