We Need to Talk About Women's Health
It's 2025, folks. This is long overdue.
Hey, motherfuckers, stop blaming my weight, diagnosing my concerns as anxiety or depression, and/or telling me what’s going on is normal. If it was normal, I wouldn’t waste my money the copay to hear your bullshit.
A good start? Stop talking to us like we’re stupid.
Stop. That. Bullshit.
We aren’t stupid. We know how to research the realistic probable causes of our issues (and yeah, we don’t depend on Dr. Google or WebMD). We want you to order actual testing to discover the root cause of our issues, not just have you treat assumed symptoms.
ADHD & Autism
Did you know that ADHD and Autism can present as anxiety and depression? And when you medicate for anxiety and depression, instead of considering any alternative, you do not fix the anxiety or depression (yes, I’m repeating myself, just to drive the point home). You make it worse.
Because that’s not the brain issue we’re working with.
And stop telling women that they can’t have ADHD or Autism, because we don’t present like the boys in all the studies. We don’t tend to be hyperactive, but more inattentive—hello, brain fog and easy distraction—but that’s erroneously attributed to our ‘good’ behavior. This detracts from the fact that we’re hardwired that girls and women should take up as little space and have the quietest voices.
So, duh, we’d seem like ‘good girls’.
Also, we are master maskers. We are trained to do all the things neurotypical people should do: make eye contact, smile on cue, be sociable. But the truth is those are all coping mechanisms we mimic and masks we wear to make life easier on you.
But I Digress…
Women’s health isn’t just a medical issue, sadly. It’s also a community issue that starts from birth. We tell toddlers and elementary-aged kids that they’re heartbreakers, or ask if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend, or tease them when they’re older and have a partner, among other things.
A red herring is the erroneous idea that if we talk to kids about sexual health, they will engage in sexual acts at an earlier age. This disregards two things:
knowledge about their bodies is helpful for more than just sex. It also gives them the words to talk about assault. (Please, for the love of all things sacred, stop using made up words for genitals. Penis and vagina aren’t bad words.),
actual sex happens less when you educate kids about the actual dangers of unprotected (and protected!) sex, like pregnancy and STI’s.
I would love to give this to parents to talk to their kids about sex education, but the honest truth is that most parents depend on religious dogma pushing abstinence only or they’re too embarrassed to have this important conversation with their kids.
That’s why I advocate for this to be part of health class. And I think kids should know about their sexual health and the sexual health of people with different genitals. Good, factual information hurts no one.
We should, as a society, talk about things like:
Consent, and respecting consent, even when you’re about to engage in sex, and how saying, “If you loved me…” is emotional manipulation.
How to put on a condom properly, that they expire, and raw dogging it is unsafe, both for STIs and pregnancy. Precum has sperm in it, too, folks.
How it’s not solely a woman’s responsibility to prevent pregnancy, that the only 100% form of contraception is abstinence. If you insist on having sex, be prepared to take responsibility for a child. Don’t want to spend the rest of your life with that person? Don’t stick your dick in it.
Buying into lies like you can’t get pregnant the first time you have sex, penetrative pain the first time is normal, STI’s can’t be transmitted via oral sex, and so much more.
How we are far beyond the whole ‘sowing your seed’, and how to break generational trauma for future generations.
Real information about anal sex to prevent damage to the person on the receiving end. Oh, and oral sex, too.
I know not all of these will apply to everyone. Just take the bits that do.
Oh, damn, I’ve digressed again
The whole point of this article was to talk about things women aren’t taught about their bodies. So, how does this connect to sex ed?
By destigmatizing girls and women learning about their bodies from discovering what feels good, how their bodies and reproductive systems work, etc. It will also empowers their bodily autonomy.
If you no longer believe that your existence is dependent on the male gaze, you will be able to stand up to people who insist it is. That starts with expanding knowledge, which, again, does not hurt anyone.
Here’s my living list of things I wish someone had told me when I was growing up:
Butt hair is normal, and there is no requirement to shave, bleach or any other ridiculous ‘requirement’ to remove said hair. (This applies to all body hair, too, no matter what society says.)
Acne happens everywhere. Literally anywhere you have skin, you can have acne issues. And while hygiene can play a factor, genetics and hormones hold a bigger role.
Pain that adversely affects your life IS NOT normal. Don’t let anyone, including family and friends, much less medical professionals, tell you otherwise. There are far too many instances of cancer being missed bc this bullshit. Also, it doesn’t matter if the tests come back as normal. If you don’t feel good, they are irrelevant.
All boobs are good. Preference should not affect your worth. Boobs change after childbirth, temporarily bigger and firmer when milk comes in, longer if you breastfeed. East/West boobs aren't the product of intimacy, but natural placement.
All genitals are good and unique, stop shaming the ones that aren't 'perfect'. This means seeing a flaccid or uncircumcised penis, an asymmetrical labia, or the width or depth of an orifice.
If I hear one more time that anyone who sleep with ‘too many’ people is ‘damaged goods’, when the same ‘damage’ would occur in a healthy monogamous relationship, I will need bail money.
Porn, no matter how you feel about it, is meant to be entertainment, not a teachable moment. Do not assume what you see is how it goes in the real world.
Sex should be a conversation before you engage in it, to make sure
all parties are on the same page. Some things to discuss:
triggers, permissible actions and boundaries,
acknowledgment that enthusiastic consent is required every time, and it can be revoked at any time, including if you’re both naked, and it should be respected without repercussion,
acknowledgment that access is not an open door and can be revoked at any time, and
so much more
That’s it, folks. Let me know if you’d like me to expand on any of this. Otherwise, let me know what you wish someone had told you when you were growing up.
Thanks for reading.
