Goodbye, 2023 - Part 1
2024 has a low bar to be better
As the year creeps ever closer to its demise, I want to look forward with a fresh outlook. How do I do that?
Don’t worry, I have a plan.
What doesn’t serve me anymore?
Holding on to People
I often wonder what else I could accomplish if I hadn’t expended so much energy on trying to keep people in my life.
Could I have written another novel?
Painted a masterpiece?
Would I need less therapy?
Would I feel better about myself?
In 2024, I’m going to find out. Or at least try.
I’ve had a lot of people who have positioned themselves within my periphery. I can see them, but their actions have proven that they’re not interested in actively participating in my life.
Does it make me sad? Sure, but one of the side effects of my abandonment issues is the understanding that everyone will leave me anyway. Maybe it’s the imposter syndrome. Maybe it’s the whole ‘reason, season or lifetime’ thing. Hurt is part of my existence, so I guess it doesn’t bother me as much as it used to.
Self-Deprecation
Why do I dislike myself so much?
Ah, next year I’m going to stop sidetracking my therapist and actually delve with the unresolved inner child issues. It’s going to be ugly, but future me will thank current me for sticking it out.
Also, if my grandmothers could love me just as I am, I should learn to do the same, right?
Self-Doubt
I am good at a lot of things. Whether it’s writing, art, baking/cooking, or anything else I put my mind to, I haven’t meant anything I couldn’t do. But I have spent the last few years tying my worth, my abilities to sales.
That has to stop.
I have started to have this new habit this month with my mandala fan art project (which will continue into next year).
I will make what I love, and if it sells, great. If it doesn’t, at least my online friends like it, too. The stress is no longer allowed to cast shade on my existence.
What are your plans for 2024?
Stay tune for Parts 2 and 3 in the new year!