Anger is Allowed & I'm Livid
I'm so tired of pussyfooting around this issue to make you feel better
This was my tipping point and one of the primary reasons I didn’t feel bad when I left Facebook. back in 2020.
This is private on my FB wall now, but my point in sharing this is two-fold: 1) I wanted to keep a record for when I finally leave FB, and 2) as a blatant reminder that this is why we don't talk about it.
Because so many people make it about them, not the depressed/suicidal person. Nope, it's about how our existence makes their lives harder. And couldn't we just tell them how they can help fix us, so they can help us help ourselves? So altruistic. So... not about us.
Most of us have tried to explain how to help. I've written articles about it. I talk about it constantly, and I'm not the only one. If you have someone in your life with depression, then do some fucking research. Go out and purposefully find ways you can help, the signs you should look out for, etc.
Do not depend on your depressed person to give you a step-by-step block of instruction on how to make things better, because if they're in an episode -- and let's be honest, that's the only time you care -- they may not be able to articulate their needs, because they may not know what will help this time around.
Do treat them like they're suffering from a disease, because -- surprise, surprise! -- depression is a disease. There's nothing logical about it. It's ugly. It's louder than your 'good intentions', and when you tell us that you'd just wish you knew how to help, I promise we're thinking the exact same thing.
If you can't manage that, then step away. You are no good for the depressed person's health, and for what it's worth, it's best if a depressed person puts themselves and their mental health first, because you sure as fuck won't.
I'm done.
*****
10 Things to Know if You Want to Understand Your Loved One's Depression
10 Ways You Can Help Us, if We're in the Black Hole of Depression